I was recently encouraged to start blogging again especially about being a new mother. Because we all know I can be painfully honest and sometimes people like that. Other times.. not so much. BUT I thought I'd go for it.
Most of my friends are either pregnant, just had a baby, or want babies. I guess I'm at that stage in my life. That and Bible college students do things 5 years earlier than the rest of society.
When Brian and I got married I tried hard to focus my attention on preparing for my marriage more than my wedding. And I Praise God I did. I wish I had had enough brains to do the same when John Thomas came along. Instead I was more caught up in America's wonderful marketing lies that I needed thousands of dollars worth of merchandise, and the beautiful art of denial that I was actually have a human being.
As long as I focused on what crib to buy, which car seat was safest and what outfit made me look less like a hippo, I didn't have to face the reality that one day I'd have to be a parent. I didn't have to think about my baggage and sin being passed on to my child. As long as I wore earrings that pulled the attention away from my belly (which works BTW) I didn't have to think that Brian and I would have to pray even harder against the Devi's attacks.
I wish I cared less about Babies R Us sales and more about preparing myself to be a Godly mother.
I think the Devil hides behind the dreams of perfect wedding photo's and cute cuddly babies. He takes our focus off of the seriousness of the life changes and puts it on cute little boy polos (I mean seriously is there anything cuter than a 3 month old in a polo).
Christ.
Christ needs to be my focus. Praying I allow him to chip away and make him the woman and mother of God he wants me to be.
I wish that was my prayer from the start of this journey, and praying it's yours.
