This week has been probably my worst mommy week yet.
They aren't sleeping all that great, JT has been in rare form. He has had more accidents this week, just random, not even telling me. Liam is teething. He can also crawl, which means he tried to eat my DVD's this morning. My house smells funny because of the dishes, and all the shirts that make me look skinny are dirty.
Being a mom can suck.
I was never that girl with dolls, I never wanted to babysit. I can count on my one hand the number of times I was asked to babysit. When I found out I was pregnant with JT I was pretty sure my life was over. I didn't want children, let alone stay home with them.
All I do all day is clean. I clean poop, laundry, poop out of laundry, dishes. Thankfully there is no poop on the dishes.
Being a mom can be awesome. It can also suck. A lot.
But, I feel guilty in saying that.
I hate that I have given up my life (desires, clean house - (lesb-honest my house was never clean), a real job) to take care of these ungrateful little mess makers. I usually don't get dressed, I rarely put makeup on. This is all new territory for me.
I just started reading Mom Enough which is a compilation of blog posts from Desiring God. If you're a mom you should get it, even if your kids are grown. This is a quote from the first chapter that had me in tears.
"Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine, If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.
Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone."
Ugly Cry.
Being a mom can suck. But God is good, and tomorrow may I have enough grace to SHOW the gospel to my kids. Even if he uses all the clean underwear.
